Finally, proof that lasting disappointment is possible!
Our reporter Masanuki Sunakoma has bought a lot of low-rated items from Amazon, and despite often justified bad reviews, he may usually find some silver lining to them. Whether it’s kitsch a call like santa toilet cover or sexy torso pillowor the possibility of other uses such as resale beanie hats Or train our patience on it floating speakersHe has always been able to find the bright side of these exotic products.
But some things don’t have a bright side…
Deep in the dark corners of Amazon Japan are products so vile, so worthless that even the most powerful optimists in the world cannot detect the quality of the payback. One of these products is Pendulum Physics Perpetual Motion Toy Pendulum Ball Impact Metal Ball Stainless Steel Newton Stress Relief Internal Desktop Type Physics Educational Crafts [Rolls down from the top and returns to the top].
You might have noticed in that word an authority with a name, this This product claims to have harnessed the elusive concept of perpetual motion into a stress-relieving game that can be placed on your desktop. Everything seemed too good to be true, so Masanuki ignored and pushed the unanimous one-star customer reviews 2,155 yen ($15 USD) per person.
After a while an unmarked cardboard box arrived on our reporter’s doorstep.
There were no instructions or documentation of any kind inside, just a bunch of rubbish.
We don’t mean that by “Oh, that smartphone is a piece of junk”. This was real scrap meaning scrap pieces of rusted and scratched metal.
Since there were no instructions, Masanuki had to rely on the photos on the Amazon page to put them together.
This is made more difficult by the huge number of small nuts to hold the pieces together. It seems that they gave him extra stuff as an added bonus, but since Masanuki wasn’t sure, they really only served to cause confusion during assembly.
In the end, he had something like the product in the pictures and plenty of little nuts to spare. This game works by dropping the balls down the hole in the black tray. Then they zoom along the bars, which bend upward and inward like a large refractory wave. The bars are shaped in such a way that the balls shoot straight into the black tray and start the process over and over for good.
It sounds easy enough, but this feat also seems to require some careful design and this element doesn’t exactly scream “precision”. Perhaps it had a lot to do with the rusty domains resembling the array of the Corrupt Dragon Balls.
However, Masanuki decided to see what this thing could do and pushed a ball into the hole.
It went fast and a promising path…
▼ Masanuki: “Oh.”
Just to stop dying at the bottom.
▼ Masanuki: “…”
It didn’t even come close to performing the skillful manipulation of physics that it promised.
However, without any instructions, Masanuki couldn’t rule out the possibility that he had done something wrong. Maybe if he drops a second ball, the kinetic energy from the collision will send the first ball the rest of the way…
▼ Masanuki: “…”
The layers of rust and patina seem to absorb a lot of the shock and also add friction to the ball track. But maybe a third ball will help move things along…
▼ Masanuki: “…”
It still didn’t work, but the first ball moved a young parent at the time. Maybe a fourth ball would be enough to put it over the top…
▼ Masanuki: “Oh, come on!”
For some reason, the fourth ball didn’t stay on the rails and just slammed into the ground with a disappointingly loud sound. This game wasn’t really as good at relieving stress as it was at creating it, and Masanuki picked the rotting Dragon Ball off the floor and put it in a nearby trash can.
In one last futile attempt to make this thing work, Tried a few times and the ball seemed to fly off the rails about 30 percent of the time. So, even if he was lucky enough to make a single ring out of it, perpetual motion was completely out of the question.
Then he went back to the Amazon reviews he had previously overlooked. It pretty much all said “garbage”, “F*&%ing gbage”, “I wish I had read the reviews before buying” and “No. 1 item not to buy this year”. We usually like to end these articles with “If you like it Bathing in the office or Wearing Halloween Masks in NovemberThen maybe check it out,” but not this time.
There is absolutely no reason for anyone to buy this thing. He is soulless.
Related: Amazon Japan / Physics Pendulum Perpetual Motion Toy Pendulum Ball Impact Ball Metal Stainless Steel Newton Stress Relief Desktop Indoor Type Physics Educational Craft [Rolls down from the top and returns to the top]
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